Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Walmart, Pregnancy and Dog!

I hate Walmart. I have always hated Walmart. No matter what I buy there, it's broken. I wanted to pick up some Christmas tree balls from Sam's Club, (a very poor substitute for Costco, but the best I can do in Augusta.) Anyway they were out of the ones I wanted. I only wanted to spend 30 dollars on the whole tree. So I headed over to good old Walmart. As Dallin and I got there he told me "Oh mom, I love Walmart! It's just great!" It was at this moment I knew I have completely failed as a parent! So I pick out my 30 dollars worth of Balls, buy them and go home. As we are putting up the Christmas tree about 20% of the balls I just bought are defective! They either don't come with tops or the tops have no hole in them. What the crap? I mean when I go to Walmart I'm not expecting a quality product, but this is ridicules! Same trip I happened to pick up some food... it expired two days before I actually bought it! I used to buy the little boys clothes there. That was until I realized that if the clothes I was buying didn't already have a tiny hole somewhere, they would have one after a wash or two. Averaging me anywhere from 3-10 dollars for my kids to wear the outfit once. There are no words for how I much loath this store. And yet I find my self there about once a month! What is my problem? Why can't I just leave it alone? It's the really low prices! I delude my self into thinking...this time I wont be wasting my money. I realize how much cheaper things are there, but isn't it worth spending 4 dollars at Target instead of 2 dollars at Walmart, if that item is not going to be thrown away shortly after it's first use?



What is with pregnancy? I was rinsing my mouth with mouth wash yesterday morning, when all of the sudden I realized I had pooped my pants. It was just a little bit, but it was a pooping of the pants. There was no other way to slice it. I've never been the cool kid. But I've also never been the kid that poops their pants!!!! Being pregnant I deal with the risk of wetting my pants on a daily basis. But this is a whole different ball game. I am not ok with it! I have grown used to feeling totally normal and with in a matter of moments sprinting to the bathroom, squeezing my keagles and praying that I wont wet my pants. This I accept as a part of pregnancy. But what happened yesterday has led me to some long thought out conclusions....



Eve really did get screwed for taking a bite of that fruit! I bet Adam was totally stoked when he realized he and all of his future man folk would get to "provide" for their families. I hear people call pregnancy a beautiful miracle. Most of these people are men. In my world beautiful miracles do not come with bad backs, stretch marks, Huge knockers, Acid reflex, Sleepless nights and adult acne. I also have heard people say "pregnancy glow." Well congrats to other women, but I have never glowed while pregnant. If there is any glowing it's because it just took me 2 minutes to climb a flight of stairs and I cant catch my breath because the baby has laid claim on my lungs and I can't breath anymore. Dave even admits I don't glow when pregnant. I do however break out like a fifteen year old boy. My sweet friend Dori told me to counter act this break out problem by putting coconut oil on my face. This had the opposite effect. I know have white heads in that hard to reach place on the side of my nose.



Honestly pregnancy does amaze me. Everything has to be perfect for a child to be conceived. And everything has to stay perfect for that baby to survive. Every child is amazing. However I don't think the process is beautiful. Dave goes to work every day, where he learns something new and interacts with people who take him seriously. I however stay home and consider the day a victory if I only wet my pants once.



Oh the dog! I don't know if I have much else to say about the stupid dog. She is the perfect for the boys and a really good family dog. However she hates me. She has no respect for me! Yesterday she took off and wouldn't let me catch her. Dave had to come home from school and get her. She came right to her. I used to not understand how people could just leave their dogs. Now I realize they had it coming. I will no longer judge the parents of an abandoned dog.



Well that's it for now.

7 comments:

twoplustwins said...

Jodi,
I am so glad you blogged today. I needed the laugh. Nigel is on nights at the hospital and the days have been long and the nights short for me (sick kids). I know pregnancy is not great but just keep thinking of the little girl you will get to hold before long! :o)
~Kim

LaVon said...

Jodi, your comments are just the breath of fresh air I needed. I haven't laughted so hard in a long time. When we get back from car shopping, I am going to take time to read the rest of when I get home. The pictures are just great.

Dori said...

oh you are a funny girl! poop...really? I wouldn't bet on any of my bodily functions during pregnancy. The best is when you are talking to someone...especially someone who has not yet enjoyed pregnancy for themselves, and you "make a noise". ooops. thats embarrassing! yeah, pregnancy is not for sissys. Hang in there...before you know it you will again have forgotten exactly how miserable it is being pregnant, and find yourself wanting another baby!

Natalie said...

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants-and I am not pregnant! I couldn't agree with you more about all three (Wal-mart, Dogs, and being pregnant). All three suck. Thanks for the laughs-keep them coming.

Nygards said...

I can't believe you pood your pants. that is awesome! Thanks for the comment on our blog. I haven't pulled out the headbands or armbands for the kids. I will do that and get some pictures up. Are you guys going to be home for Christmas? Hope you're great. Congrats on the upcoming girl!

Roma said...

Hi Jod!! Everybody has a bad day once in a while! Plus anyone who is a "Mom" can relate exactly to what you're going through. Does Scout need her shock collar on again? I love reading your blog and enjoying the pics. LOVE YA

Emily said...

Jodi, you're hilarious. As for the knockers, there are some who welcome the boost. Anyway, I was noticing you're girls names and I like them all but Matt is determined that if we have a girl she will be named Eleanor and will be called Ella, so I guess there may be two. I"m okay with it if you are. :)