Sunday, April 3, 2011

Pregnancy

WARNING: I have no intention of telling my mother that I updated my blog with this post. Which means... It will embarrass her. If you believe that you and my mother have a similar tolerance for my reality... STOP READING NOW!


I don't want to be the one to imply that there is a flaw in the Good Lords master plan for the female body, But do you think he knows that after child birth many women spontaneously wet their pants? It seems like this is an issue that should be brought formally to his attention.

Because of recent experiences this topic is close to my heart. I have three children and am pregnant with the fourth. Lately slightly peeing my pants is a regular occurrence. The other day I went for a six mile walk with Molly. Thank heavens I was wearing black pants, because by the time I made it back home I had slightly peed my pants twice and could feel the pee 1/8 of the way down my inner thighs. (Side note: I no longer have a warning that I need to go to the bathroom, all of the sudden I am just peeing. If there was a warning I would have stopped and peed in the bushes.) I made it back to the house and parked Molly in front of the garage. I walked to the front door, put the key in the door and knew I was faced with two options. I could either wet my pants while walking through the house or full on pee my pants on the front porch. Although I have several neighbors, our house is up off the street so there is no way they would notice me peeing on the porch. I opted to wet my pants rather then pee all over the house. At first I thought this would be just a little slight pee. It wasn't. I was completely powerless to stop the force that was my bladder. After a few seconds I saw the Amber colored urine jumping out of my pants half way down my right shin. At this point I had to stop it from reaching my shoes and socks. I patted my pants with my shoes asking my pants to absorb the waterfall that was coming. Thanks to my long pants, it never did reach my shoes. My porch however has now been peed on. This is NOT the kind of thing I would normally do. Hence my question. Is our creator aware that this is a problem? Life really isn't fair. I'm am certain that David has no residual effects from the four children we have made together! And I'm a mess!

The problems don't stop there. I wish they did, but they don't. For those of you who don't know the female body has chachee bones. These are bones that line the bajinga. When pregnant, they slowly spread apart in preparation for child birth. This process is painful and often leaves me feeling like my south lands have just left a cage fight.

I feel like these are the issues that also need be brought up to high school girls. My friend Dori once suggested that a picture be taken of a women's South Lands the day after child birth, blow it up and put it in the hall ways of high schools. I think this is a fantastic idea! I'm sure that would solve America's teen pregnancy problem and increase abstinence everywhere!

Our friends from College are much more like family then friends. When we met the Beuses and the Nygards there were no children involved. Now these are the babies from the three families...Tanner & Aubrey Nygard, Dallin, Abe & Molly Peterson, Maddie Beus, Travis Nygard, Eli & Gracie Beus. Jared Nygard was too little to be at the table. Having all these kids together brings me buckets of joy!
Molly at the Pacific Science Center

Abe and Dallin at the Pacific Science Center

I know I say it all the time. But I am completely overwhelmed by how good looking David is! I swear he gets better and better looking every year. Molly was not happy to be going home.

4 comments:

Paul E Wog said...

Hilarious

cassi said...

Agreed. Your hubby is good looking. Lucky you! It's always nice to be attracted to the one you're married to, isn't it? ;)
And YAY for you for admitting the "peeing issue." What a sucky thing to have happen to us women. It really isn't fair. I swear any time I even THINK about coughing or sneezing, I wet myself... might as well treat ourselves like potty training a 2 year old, and set the timer! ;)
On the other hand, I LOVE little Molly! I can't believe how long her hair is getting! Miss you!

amy said...

Jodi you crack me up! Hang in there. Only a few more months and you wont ever have to do it again.

Kristine said...

Oh my heck... I almost wet my pants just reading this and I'm not even pregnant!!! Oh the things we go through to have children :)

All the pictures make me miss you guys so much. I can't wait for our visit!